i just made my gag reflex go away.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
