I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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