So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
