How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
