I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
