Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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