So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
my sisters under your porch take her home
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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