That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
