Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize