using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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