drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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