Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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