Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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