I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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