thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
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I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
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Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
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