I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
