holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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