He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my mouth tastes like poor choices
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
