2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
