hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
