...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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