Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
