You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
