Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
