You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
