I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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