lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
