Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
