I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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