We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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