smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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