I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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