So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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