I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
