mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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