Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
