I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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