dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
