remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I got inside last night via doggy door
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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