I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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