just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
