lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
