The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
