is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
