On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
