You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
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Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize