my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
