Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
im on a boat
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