Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
