she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
