it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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