omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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