I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
