I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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