I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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