ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
