this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
are you so shy because you have an std?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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