Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
