How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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