i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
