i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
