break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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