So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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