I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My penis needs a shock collar
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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