well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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