so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
