i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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