After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Randomize
