she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
